The Bite Before Christmas

A dark twisted version of a holiday classicby Marita Jaeger and Camille Burgin
T'was the night before Christmas
When all through the manor
Every creature was stirring
In black velvet glamour
The candles blazed on the mantle
In a flaming rage
Lighting the way for those
Far from beyond the grave
How the mortals were nestled
All snug in their beds,
Elusive visions of Christmas
Dreamily floating in their heads
But the dark Master and Mistress
Draped in their capes
Had plans quiet contradictory
To the Holy Saint
Over treetops they flew
Through the icy night sky
They reached their destination
As the midnight bells chimed
Up on the rooftop
The dark couple did land
The mortals woke with a start
Knowing evil was at hand
The mortals cautiously peered
Through a window of frost
Knowing they would pay
The ultimate cost
The moon on the crest
Of the new fallen snow
Cast an illusive shadow
On the ghastly pale faces below
Their eyes gleamed with hunger
Their movements were stealth
Silent were the mortal's screams
Their terror was felt.
The Wicked slyly appeared
In the corner of the room
Staring into the frightened souls
Who felt certain doom
They wasted no time,
But went direct for the veins
Their touch intoxicating
As they sunk in their fangs
Death came too quickly
Yet the hunger was sated
Disappearing into the mist
They mysteriously faded
The last mortal memory
Was sarcastically trite
Mockingly, the Vampires
exclaimed:
"Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good Bite."

“why do I love You, Sir?”

"Why do I love" You, Sir? Because The Wind does not require the Grass To answer Wherefore when He pass She cannot keep Her place. Because He knows and Do not You And We know not Enough for Us The Wisdom it be so The Lightning never asked an Eye Wherefore it shut when He was by Because He knows it cannot speak And reasons not contained Of Talk There be preferred by Daintier Folk The Sunrise Sire compelleth Me Because He's Sunrise and I see Therefore Then I love Thee Emily Dickinson

defeated

Okay Lovely Readers have Y/you ever just felt like nothing is going to go Y/your way?, like everything Y/you do is just an absolute fucking failure?  Well F/friends that is just how I feel today.  I would love to just crawl into some random hole and hide from all the horrors of the world.  I’d like to be a little girl again, hiding behind my mother’s dress.  P/people, I feel helpless and disillusioned, confused and alone.  The only Person that can help me is 1500 miles away, I was so close! all I wanted was one hug, just one fucking hug…  Is that really so much to ask for.  In my mind I know that it wasn’t my fault but that doesn’t make the pain in my heart go away.  The look of hurt in His eyes was almost too much for this little girl to bear.  The tears just keep flowing, I can’t make it stop, I can’t make this feeling go away, I just want to sleep.  I need Him, I need to make Him happy.  I just want Him to feel all the love I have held inside for so long.  So again W/we wait, I pray that I will be in His arms soon, I need this more than I’ve ever needed anything in my entire life.  I WILL get that hug, it WILL happen!  So Gentle Readers I leave You with these words, Hope is not lost, without it W/we have nothing.  This little girl will NOT be defeated so easily!…  Take care of Y/yourselves please.

the rain...

Awakened by the rhythmic sound of the rain on the roof above her, cold and alone… again, she sighs and heads down the stairs to make her morning cup of coffee.  Thinking to herself thank god for this automatic coffee pot, she pours the steaming liquid into her favorite cup and heads for her computer... she looks for signs of life, but sees none.  She smiles, trying to convince herself that it’s going to be a better day, even if it kills her!  Music, yes that’s what she needs, she heads for her stereo system, pushing various buttons  until it produces some kind of sound, anything to silence her tortured mind, then closing her eyes for a bit she feels that certain calm begin to wash over her.  She rises and goes to the front door to let the dog out… the ominous clouds gather overhead, as the driving rain continues to pour down.  She steps out into it slowly, calmly, letting the drops fall onto her face and hair.  Smiling to herself, she takes a quick look around to make sure the neighbors aren’t watching, and she slowly begins to dance… She feels the warm mud squish between her toes, as lightning flashes above her, around and around she twirls.  The poor dog, *smiles* she must think this girl has lost her mind.  That distinct sound of Hendrix comes from her speakers and she picks up the pace, her feet barely touching the ground.  She keeps dancing and dancing, the cool morning breeze on her face, the thin cotton fabric of her pajamas clings to her soft skin.  She spins and twirls through the storm, the sound of her gentle laughter almost inaudible, drowned out by the sound of the thunder, until she feels it… that beautiful feeling...  the calm that only the rain can bring.  She is finished... She retreats inside to start her day.

Last Words

Last Words

by Sylvia Plath¹

I do not want a plain box, I want a sarcophagus
With tigery stripes, and a face on it
Round as the moon, to stare up.

I want to be looking at them when they come
Picking among the dumb minerals, the roots.
I see them already--the pale, star-distance faces.
Now they are nothing, they are not even babies.
I imagine them without fathers or mothers, like the first gods.
They will wonder if I was important.
I should sugar and preserve my days like fruit!
My mirror is clouding over ---
A few more breaths, and it will reflect nothing at all.
The flowers and the faces whiten to a sheet.

I do not trust the spirit. It escapes like steam
In dreams, through mouth-hole or eye-hole. I can't stop it.
One day it won't come back. Things aren't like that.
They stay, their little particular lusters
Warmed by much handling. They almost purr.
When the soles of my feet grow cold,
The blue eye of my turquoise will comfort me.
Let me have my copper cooking pots, let my rouge pots
Bloom about me like night flowers, with a good smell.

They will roll me up in bandages, they will store my heart
Under my feet in a neat parcel.
I shall hardly know myself. It will be dark,
And the shine of these small things sweeter than the face of Ishtar.

Love's a bitch...

ehh, hiya... i'm a sick lil girl, so i thought i'd try to be just a litttle bit lazy... not that i'm not always thinking *smiles*...  like i told Him... "sick not dead",
 anyways i'm gonna keep the mindless chatter to a minimum today. Be well Gentle R/readers.. take care of Y/yourselves...

"Mysterious love, uncertain treasure
Hast thou more of pain or pleasure!
Endless torments dwell about thee:
Yet who would live, and live without thee!"
~ Joseph Addison ~

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."
~ Joan Crawford ~

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~Lao Tzu~

Love is that condition in which The happiness of another person
Is essential to your own.
~Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Never a lip is curved with pain That can't be kissed into smile again.
~ Brete Harte ~

"Love means the body, the soul, the life, the entire being.
We feel love as we feel the warmth of out blood,
we breathe love as we breathe air,
we hold it in ourselves as we hold our thoughts.
Nothing more exists for us."~Guy de Maupassant~

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

For one human being to love another:
that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks;
the ultimate, the last test and proof,
the work for which all other work is but preparation.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery~

"Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly
and without law, and must be plucked where it is found,
and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration."
~ D.H.Lawrence ~

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me.
~The Mamas and The Papas~

"People think that love is an emotion. Love is good sense."
~Ken Kesey~

One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love.
~Sophocles~

"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
~Robert Browning~

Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
~Robert Browning~

"Love is metaphysical gravity."
~R Buckminster Fuller~

"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
~"Love is the only gold."
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson~

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless
garden when the flowers are dead.The consciousness of
loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life
that nothing else can bring.""Who, being loved, is poor?"
~Oscar Wilde~

"Love is the greatest refreshment in life."~Picasso~

What greater thing is there for two human souls than
to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each
other in all labour, to minister to each other in all
sorrow, to share with each other in all gladness, to be
one with each other in the silent unspoken memories?
"I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved."
~George Elliot~

Oh when I was in love with you,
Then I was clean and brave,
And miles around the wonder grew
How well did I behave.
And now the fancy passes by,
And nothing will remain,
And miles around they'll say that
I Am quite myself again.
~A.E.Housman~

"All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.
~Leo Tolstoy~

"LOVE: The irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired."
~Robert Frost~

"Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination."
~Voltaire~

"Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the gods. At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
~Plato~

"Nobody, not even poets, Has ever measured,
How much the heart can hold."
~ Zelda Fitzgerald ~

Thank You

A gentle hello to all my lovely R/readers, I hope this day finds Y/you A/all well and in good spirits.  *smiles* Are Y/ya scared yet?  No worries, she’s not going to yell at A/anyone today, yet… Good lord, this little girl doesn’t know what to write about this morning… Talk about what you know I guess…

Thank You…  How many times do W/we go through life neglecting to say those two simple words?  Why?  Is it so hard to be grateful?  *laughs*, or maybe W/we just forget sometimes... W/we take people for granted…  W/we never just stop to think what O/our lives would be like without the P/people W/we love… I personally think that my life would really FUCKIN SUCK if I didn’t have certain amazing P/people in it.  I’d like to use this post to send a very special thank You to the Man of my dreams…

        Daddy,

From the very first night W/we met, I knew there was something special about You.  You smiled, and this little girl’s heart melted… You have shown me such love and tenderness in the short time that W/we’ve known E/each other.  Never in all my life have I felt so much love for A/anyone, You make me happy…  Wow, I know I say that a lot, but it’s been such a long time since I’ve felt this way.  From the moment I wake in the morning until my head hits the pillow at night You are constantly in my thoughts, and my heart.  Never have I been so proud to say that I belong to Someone, and I find myself praying that You’ll keep me.  I know I can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, *smiles* but You handle it with such calm and grace, I’m not always exactly sure how You do it.  I find myself filled with this overwhelming urge to make You happy, I live for it, to see that Sexy smile, and know that it’s only for me, that’s a beautiful thing.  You truly are the most amazing Man I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing,  So today I say thank You Daddy.  Thank You for saving this little girl from herself.  Thank You for loving me. I will be forever grateful.

   Eternally Yours,

     casi

All of this being said, i urge  Y/you, please, don't let the ones Y/you love go through life without knowing it.  Say Y/your thank You's every day, be gratefull for what Y/you have, Y/you never know when it will be taken away.  Be Well Gentle Readers, take care of Y/yourselves...

   

Really?????

Last night, this little girl went to bed with all intentions of waking up this morning and yelling, screaming, spouting venomous words to bitches…  These self-proclaimed bitches find it necessary to spread lies, and hurt those who try to befriend them, and why? Are they so miserable in their own sad lives that they feel the need to spread that misery through lies, and exaggerated stories of sadness and betrayal, Oh poor pitiful me!  I say shut the fuck up… now! *chuckles* I  asked for advance permission to attack, and I wasn’t denied…but sometime in the night she changed her mind, That being said, I’ll begin…  *smiles sweetly*

All that having been said, I’d like to tell Y/you about a Man, but not just any Man, this one is special…  He has been touched with a desire to help P/people; sometimes this gets Him into a bit of trouble, Drama starved subbies like to give Him constant grief for just trying to help… What they don’t realize is that underneath that strong exterior, lies a sweet, kind, beautiful heart, one that can be easily broken… I know this far too well I’m sad to say… All this being said, I’m angry… I’m more than angry, I’m fucking pissed, and for Y /you to insult Him for doing the only thing He knows, trying to help someone… well its downright fucking mean!  Y/you come to Him every day with your whiny, shitty, lil poor me stories of how you’re so sad and nobody loves you... well sugar lumps hate me if you wanna but you kinda brought all that on yourself….  Now you say I just want Him to be happy, happy how????? Wtf hunny??  You come at Him full force with nothing but misery and you want Him happy… *chuckles* ohhhh I’m gonna be in troubllleee, I should’ve said this long ago, I wouldn’t be where I am now hiding in a corner of a dark tower…no actually that’s wrong too, I have found good friends here, they make me smile, I don’t have to walk around holding a mirror so I can see what’s lurking behind me anymore. Wow! So I guess maybe I should thank you in a way, but maybe not, I’ve done that enough…  let me just shuttt my mouthhh!! LOvE Y/y’all!.... casi

an idle mind...

I loved that song it was so worth the wait,

 it sounds so good on a rainy day, the breeze blows though my curtains in my lucky, lucky place, if I ever fell unlucky just take me to that place…  take me down to the old trailer park

The one where it only rains on rainy days

Take me down to the old trailer park

The one where tornados never seem to hit

Take me down to the old trailer park the one where you hear your neighbors loving and warin’

Take me down to the old trailer park

The one where it’s lucky to smoke lucky strikes

Then ya told me if the wind blew we would rock it

Then ya put that lucky penny in my pocket

Then ya told me you’d paint clouds on the ceiling but you never told me you never told me that we were going to leave…

Take me down to the old trailer park the

The one where dogs and cats they never fight

Take me down to the old trailer park
the one where you and I, just might

Then you told me we were on our way...

Then you told me it would be today

Then you told me you were far away but you never told me, you never told me
that we’d been there everyday

Take me back to the old trailer park

smilesssss

I don’t suffer from insanity

I enjoy every fucking minute of it

Maybe you should too!

a lil early.. but happy halloween!

Recently, my family has been going insane with the Halloween decorations.  Now I know that this might seem insignificant to most, but there’s a reason behind their festive moods, Y/ya see my grandmother’s birthday was October 31^st.  Our first

Halloween without her, it’s going to be a tough one.  Well my point is that rather than say, “dammit I miss grandma”, we’ve all got skeletons and witches and ghosts, and fake blood...  the works… I find this to be kind of funny, but also sad.  So, I’d like to post these witches (she’d understand) and say “thanks to an amazing lady, we love and miss you very much”   

just a thought

Well P/people today started off like any other day... but it’s only 12:15 and it’s progressing into a real “shit-fest”. This is not a good time for me to blog, but so be it. I have but one question for Y/you, do Y/you ever just hate P/people, not a certain person... no… just the human race in general? Well I’ve got one thing to Say… I hate P/people! THEY SUCK... Sometimes I just want to surround myself with newspaper and scream “STOP TOUCHING MEEE!!!!” And then I have to be this perfect little angel, who never says anything offensive... Well P/people... sometimes casi is offensive... casi can be a total fuckin bitch! YeS! She can yell and scream and say FUCK YOU! But she doesn’t... well; I’m beginning to wonder why... Sometimes P/people need to hear that gratuitous FUCK YOU… it keeps them in line…

Oh wait a second... my inner submissive just told me that I couldn’t say any of those things… okay, let’s forget about the last paragraph for a second... I think that too many times in life W/we worry about what other P/people think of us… Does it really matter? HELL YES, so W/we plan out what W/we say very carefully trying not to offend. W/we tiptoe through the truth so many times in life that W/we forget what real honesty is… Well today I challenge Y/you all to be Y/yourselves… Do Y/you still know who that is? This is me... this is how I feel... So I think I’ll leave this post just the way it is… for now.

bad dreams

      The sun is shining down through the tall Carolina pines and the birds are singing.  Alone, she walks along the familiar path of tombstones as if she’s in some kind of strange trance, unable to think of anything else, she continues on walking.  She feels the fear begin to consume her, for she knows what’s next.  Without warning the earth beneath her feet bursts open and a cold dirty hand emerges.  She feels the icy cold fingers tighten around her ankle, and begin to pull her down.  A bone chilling scream escapes from her soft lips as she awakens to find herself alone in her bed.  She lies very still for a moment, paralyzed with fear, and suddenly without thinking she reaches for the phone with shaking hands.  She slowly dials His number with trembling fingers and listens quietly as it rings.  Once, twice and a third time the phone rings, a tired but gentle voice comes from the other end and He whispers “hi, baby girl”,  she replies with an almost childlike response of  “Daddy,  baby had another bad dream”.   As usual He soothes her tortured mind with quiet banter about His day at work and stories of “the mother and Papa Stan”; somehow this Man always knows exactly what to say.  She feels her pulse begin to resume its normal rhythm, and then she hears it, that soft growl deep in His chest, the sound that sends her over the edge.  She feels the heat building between her thighs as she hears Him tell her to touch His property.  She obeys without protest, using her hand to massage what is His.  Slowly she feels her excitement building, and her soft moans become louder and more urgent.  Spurred on by His delicious words, she feels a powerful release mounting deep within her, throwing her head back and closing her eyes, she cries out “ please Daddy!”  and she hears Him reply with “Do it right now, you better not waste My fucking time little girl!”  With this she explodes with wave after wave of passion, and T/their muffled cries of love cut through the crisp fall air like a sharp knife…  Quietly, T/they say T/their goodnights, and just before she hangs up He hears her whisper, “Thank You for loving me Daddy”, He says “no baby thank you, now get some rest”  and without another word she hangs up her phone, and drifts back off to sleep.

Him..

Have Y/you ever been tired? , physically and mentally exhausted from the trials and turmoil of this everyday struggle that W/we face every day? i felt this way not too long ago, the life that i had worked so hard to build changed drastically, people i thought i knew transformed into monsters i wish i'd never met, and as the world around me came tumbling down i found myself drowning at the bottom of my bottle of vintage merlot. Some odd twist of fate brought me back to an old habit, one that id abandoned years before, because, just because i couldn't take the constant reminders of another love gone wrong.. i sat down in front of my computer, and a few clicks later i found myself "sitting quietly" in the corner of a good ole buzzen chatroom.. i sat there for a while watching the chatters talk of various things, laughing along with them occasionally, but mostly just in my own lil broken world. Little did i know that i would remember this nite forever. As i was sitting there alone, He crept up like a shadow, this mysterious Dominant in a long black coat, with His flowing black hair and a tiny glint of fang shining from the corners of an intensely wicked grin, He came to me, and stole my heart away with His kind words and sincerity. A few weeks went by this Wonderful Man asked me to wear His Collar.. i was confused, scared, happy, and basically just enamored with all that was this Man.. He has shown me so much love and patience, and i will be eternally grateful for this.. Thank You Daddy for making me the happiest lil girl ever!

So the time has come for U/us to meet.. and as luck would have it.. Today is the day! i'll be leaving in just a lil while to kiss and hug the Man of my dreams, Wish me luck....

wtf???

Okay, so E/everyone is out there in cyber land, just posting away on their fabulous blogs.. but me.  During the past week, i've had to deal with many issues; things with family and friends, work, and love.. well maybe this is why i don't need a blog, you see, i'm just a bit of a rambler.. W/we'll just keep going.. i do have a point, well i think i do.  Recently it has come to my attention that certain people have issues with me, Yes i know i can be a real fuckin bitch some times.. but are W/we not adults?  Can W/we not address these issues as such?  Am i such a heartless bitch that i can not take criticism from those who claim to be my friends?  Sure i can.. 
So there's this Guy, *smiles* how many tales of doom start that way, *chuckles* anywayss.. There's this Guy, not just anyyyyy Guy.. nooo this one is, just amazing, the most beautiful Soul one could ever meet..  A girl may go her entire life and never know the love of a Man such as this, but i am lucky enough to be called His, but all is not well.  Recently, an "unfortunate series of events"  have prevented me from being the good lil baby girl i should be,  Honestly P/people, i should be in His arms this very second, and as disturbing as that is, there are those who doubt me.  To those people i apologize sincerely.. but in all reality.. is this really necessary?  Why do these people find it so necessary to interfere with my Love and i?   i really do not know..    So i end this by saying, that if all goes well, my next post will be from the Loving arms of my Daddy..   thanks for listening to my senseless babble.. good day to you all.