the rain...

Awakened by the rhythmic sound of the rain on the roof above her, cold and alone… again, she sighs and heads down the stairs to make her morning cup of coffee.  Thinking to herself thank god for this automatic coffee pot, she pours the steaming liquid into her favorite cup and heads for her computer... she looks for signs of life, but sees none.  She smiles, trying to convince herself that it’s going to be a better day, even if it kills her!  Music, yes that’s what she needs, she heads for her stereo system, pushing various buttons  until it produces some kind of sound, anything to silence her tortured mind, then closing her eyes for a bit she feels that certain calm begin to wash over her.  She rises and goes to the front door to let the dog out… the ominous clouds gather overhead, as the driving rain continues to pour down.  She steps out into it slowly, calmly, letting the drops fall onto her face and hair.  Smiling to herself, she takes a quick look around to make sure the neighbors aren’t watching, and she slowly begins to dance… She feels the warm mud squish between her toes, as lightning flashes above her, around and around she twirls.  The poor dog, *smiles* she must think this girl has lost her mind.  That distinct sound of Hendrix comes from her speakers and she picks up the pace, her feet barely touching the ground.  She keeps dancing and dancing, the cool morning breeze on her face, the thin cotton fabric of her pajamas clings to her soft skin.  She spins and twirls through the storm, the sound of her gentle laughter almost inaudible, drowned out by the sound of the thunder, until she feels it… that beautiful feeling...  the calm that only the rain can bring.  She is finished... She retreats inside to start her day.

Last Words

Last Words

by Sylvia Plath¹

I do not want a plain box, I want a sarcophagus
With tigery stripes, and a face on it
Round as the moon, to stare up.

I want to be looking at them when they come
Picking among the dumb minerals, the roots.
I see them already--the pale, star-distance faces.
Now they are nothing, they are not even babies.
I imagine them without fathers or mothers, like the first gods.
They will wonder if I was important.
I should sugar and preserve my days like fruit!
My mirror is clouding over ---
A few more breaths, and it will reflect nothing at all.
The flowers and the faces whiten to a sheet.

I do not trust the spirit. It escapes like steam
In dreams, through mouth-hole or eye-hole. I can't stop it.
One day it won't come back. Things aren't like that.
They stay, their little particular lusters
Warmed by much handling. They almost purr.
When the soles of my feet grow cold,
The blue eye of my turquoise will comfort me.
Let me have my copper cooking pots, let my rouge pots
Bloom about me like night flowers, with a good smell.

They will roll me up in bandages, they will store my heart
Under my feet in a neat parcel.
I shall hardly know myself. It will be dark,
And the shine of these small things sweeter than the face of Ishtar.

Love's a bitch...

ehh, hiya... i'm a sick lil girl, so i thought i'd try to be just a litttle bit lazy... not that i'm not always thinking *smiles*...  like i told Him... "sick not dead",
 anyways i'm gonna keep the mindless chatter to a minimum today. Be well Gentle R/readers.. take care of Y/yourselves...

"Mysterious love, uncertain treasure
Hast thou more of pain or pleasure!
Endless torments dwell about thee:
Yet who would live, and live without thee!"
~ Joseph Addison ~

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."
~ Joan Crawford ~

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~Lao Tzu~

Love is that condition in which The happiness of another person
Is essential to your own.
~Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Never a lip is curved with pain That can't be kissed into smile again.
~ Brete Harte ~

"Love means the body, the soul, the life, the entire being.
We feel love as we feel the warmth of out blood,
we breathe love as we breathe air,
we hold it in ourselves as we hold our thoughts.
Nothing more exists for us."~Guy de Maupassant~

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

For one human being to love another:
that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks;
the ultimate, the last test and proof,
the work for which all other work is but preparation.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery~

"Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly
and without law, and must be plucked where it is found,
and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration."
~ D.H.Lawrence ~

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me.
~The Mamas and The Papas~

"People think that love is an emotion. Love is good sense."
~Ken Kesey~

One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love.
~Sophocles~

"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
~Robert Browning~

Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
~Robert Browning~

"Love is metaphysical gravity."
~R Buckminster Fuller~

"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
~"Love is the only gold."
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson~

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless
garden when the flowers are dead.The consciousness of
loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life
that nothing else can bring.""Who, being loved, is poor?"
~Oscar Wilde~

"Love is the greatest refreshment in life."~Picasso~

What greater thing is there for two human souls than
to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each
other in all labour, to minister to each other in all
sorrow, to share with each other in all gladness, to be
one with each other in the silent unspoken memories?
"I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved."
~George Elliot~

Oh when I was in love with you,
Then I was clean and brave,
And miles around the wonder grew
How well did I behave.
And now the fancy passes by,
And nothing will remain,
And miles around they'll say that
I Am quite myself again.
~A.E.Housman~

"All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.
~Leo Tolstoy~

"LOVE: The irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired."
~Robert Frost~

"Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination."
~Voltaire~

"Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the gods. At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
~Plato~

"Nobody, not even poets, Has ever measured,
How much the heart can hold."
~ Zelda Fitzgerald ~

Thank You

A gentle hello to all my lovely R/readers, I hope this day finds Y/you A/all well and in good spirits.  *smiles* Are Y/ya scared yet?  No worries, she’s not going to yell at A/anyone today, yet… Good lord, this little girl doesn’t know what to write about this morning… Talk about what you know I guess…

Thank You…  How many times do W/we go through life neglecting to say those two simple words?  Why?  Is it so hard to be grateful?  *laughs*, or maybe W/we just forget sometimes... W/we take people for granted…  W/we never just stop to think what O/our lives would be like without the P/people W/we love… I personally think that my life would really FUCKIN SUCK if I didn’t have certain amazing P/people in it.  I’d like to use this post to send a very special thank You to the Man of my dreams…

        Daddy,

From the very first night W/we met, I knew there was something special about You.  You smiled, and this little girl’s heart melted… You have shown me such love and tenderness in the short time that W/we’ve known E/each other.  Never in all my life have I felt so much love for A/anyone, You make me happy…  Wow, I know I say that a lot, but it’s been such a long time since I’ve felt this way.  From the moment I wake in the morning until my head hits the pillow at night You are constantly in my thoughts, and my heart.  Never have I been so proud to say that I belong to Someone, and I find myself praying that You’ll keep me.  I know I can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, *smiles* but You handle it with such calm and grace, I’m not always exactly sure how You do it.  I find myself filled with this overwhelming urge to make You happy, I live for it, to see that Sexy smile, and know that it’s only for me, that’s a beautiful thing.  You truly are the most amazing Man I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing,  So today I say thank You Daddy.  Thank You for saving this little girl from herself.  Thank You for loving me. I will be forever grateful.

   Eternally Yours,

     casi

All of this being said, i urge  Y/you, please, don't let the ones Y/you love go through life without knowing it.  Say Y/your thank You's every day, be gratefull for what Y/you have, Y/you never know when it will be taken away.  Be Well Gentle Readers, take care of Y/yourselves...

   

Really?????

Last night, this little girl went to bed with all intentions of waking up this morning and yelling, screaming, spouting venomous words to bitches…  These self-proclaimed bitches find it necessary to spread lies, and hurt those who try to befriend them, and why? Are they so miserable in their own sad lives that they feel the need to spread that misery through lies, and exaggerated stories of sadness and betrayal, Oh poor pitiful me!  I say shut the fuck up… now! *chuckles* I  asked for advance permission to attack, and I wasn’t denied…but sometime in the night she changed her mind, That being said, I’ll begin…  *smiles sweetly*

All that having been said, I’d like to tell Y/you about a Man, but not just any Man, this one is special…  He has been touched with a desire to help P/people; sometimes this gets Him into a bit of trouble, Drama starved subbies like to give Him constant grief for just trying to help… What they don’t realize is that underneath that strong exterior, lies a sweet, kind, beautiful heart, one that can be easily broken… I know this far too well I’m sad to say… All this being said, I’m angry… I’m more than angry, I’m fucking pissed, and for Y /you to insult Him for doing the only thing He knows, trying to help someone… well its downright fucking mean!  Y/you come to Him every day with your whiny, shitty, lil poor me stories of how you’re so sad and nobody loves you... well sugar lumps hate me if you wanna but you kinda brought all that on yourself….  Now you say I just want Him to be happy, happy how????? Wtf hunny??  You come at Him full force with nothing but misery and you want Him happy… *chuckles* ohhhh I’m gonna be in troubllleee, I should’ve said this long ago, I wouldn’t be where I am now hiding in a corner of a dark tower…no actually that’s wrong too, I have found good friends here, they make me smile, I don’t have to walk around holding a mirror so I can see what’s lurking behind me anymore. Wow! So I guess maybe I should thank you in a way, but maybe not, I’ve done that enough…  let me just shuttt my mouthhh!! LOvE Y/y’all!.... casi