learning to forget…

I can make you forget “Him”… Those words made me laugh… forget Him? Never!… move on.. maybe.  He told me, He would never forget, He said, W/we should be together, I’ll be here when you’re ready little one… soo she took a chance… she called Him… just to say hi, but as soon as His voice came on the line, her tears started flowing like gentle rain…” Heyyy?? what’s wrong?” He asked, half knowing what she was going to say.

“Nothing really”, she mumbled in a child-like tone. "I’m broken and I need a hug”..  Fifteen minutes later she heard a car in the driveway… wow she thought, that was fast… if only “He” could’ve done that… all would be fine.  At least that’s what she keeps trying to tell herself.

she answered the door with tear-filled eyes and suddenly she was in His arms… “Are you okay babe?" He asked, the concern visible on His tanned face, His blue eyes piercing through her.  “NO no no no, I’m not okay,  I’m broken, I told You before, I just need a hug, I don’t know what the hell… I just wanted to Love Him", He nodded and raised a finger to her lips as He pushed His way into the house… “Well, do I need to kill someone?”,  He asked... she just shook her head in response as He wrapped His arms around her and rocked her gently.  “I't’s okay little one, I’m here now, see I told ya I’d be here if ya needed Me… I’m always here for you, you know I love your silly little ass, no matter what you do, I will always be right here.”

He held her for hours… made her dinner, and made her eat it… a real Man, a real Friend… They sat there on the couch, His arms wrapped tightly around her, wiping away her tears as she cried, and after a few hours she managed to get the words out… “HE PROMISED HE WOULDN’T HURT ME”  that’s when He said it…  “I can make you forget…”  How can she ever forget “Him”… it’s so hard, but she must try.

Stress!!!!

Okay Gentle Readers, Y/you may think to Y/yourselves “hey two posts? wow…”, yeah right… wow.  I have been shifted here and there and everywhere all over this fine fucking country, I’ve been to New York, Indianna, and numerous other places, now my Dear Lovelies, I’m stuck in Chicago, I said to myself… “self, you should rent a car and just drive to Him”, then I remembered a nightmare… my luggage, if I get off this plane the morons are certain to lose all my shit.  So I’ve made a conscious descision  to sit my happy asssss right here, this is the last leg of my journey, Yay! if I can just make it to my destination in one piece, I will most certainly be the  happiest little girl everrrrr.  Okay, time to hush now…  Just a tiny bitch fest lol.

her christmas morning…

Well, I guess it’s that time again… boredom or nerves or yeah lol a bit of both has lead me to this place once more.

She sits quietly staring out the window, her hands shaking, her mouth dry, the ever present lump in her throat growing with each passing cloud.  Today is the day P/people!, Holy fuck this is it… the moment T/they’ve both dreamt of for so long.  She floats along as if in some kind of trance, staring into her laptop, thinking of what is to come next.  To calm her nerves she runs over a to do list in her mind, okay little girl she thinks, you’re good, you can so fucking do this, it’s easy, Right?…  She glances over at the elderly woman sitting next to her, she’s sleeping so peacefully… her snores which once annoyed are becoming barely audible over her thoughts.

She can barely contain her excitement, closing her eyes for a moment she realizes any attempt to sleep is futile, her mind won’t allow it.  Getting closer to Him now, the butterflies that have taken residency in her stomach are now in flight, they scramble about inside her frantically.  She thinks about her family back home, her dog, friends…  friends wow, they think she’s nuts for doing this, she doesn’t care though, her love for Him outweighs all the doubts… all the lies, all of it.  At this moment in time all she really wants is that first hug.  The first touch from the Man she has loved from afar for so very long, this is what she needs.  He is what she needs, His love, His embrace, this is what it will take to calm her once again.  Again she looks at her hands, still trembling, she clasps them tightly in front of her looking around to see if any of the other passengers know her fear.  In the rear of the plane she hears a baby cry for it’s mother, it’s urgent call getting louder and more persistent… good lord  help her get off of this damn plane soon.  She feels like they’ve been flying for days and days… The flight attendant walks by and she thinks of ordering a drink…. nooo she thinks to herself, that just won’t do at all… The pilot comes over the loudspeaker, something about turbulence… she chuckles a little thinking of the irony of a crash, and how pissed off she would be if she never got her hug, okay none of that YOU she thinks. This is happening today, You will make this happen little one… He is waiting for you.  Once again she closes her tired eyes.  soon my Love… soon.