her christmas morning…

Well, I guess it’s that time again… boredom or nerves or yeah lol a bit of both has lead me to this place once more.

She sits quietly staring out the window, her hands shaking, her mouth dry, the ever present lump in her throat growing with each passing cloud.  Today is the day P/people!, Holy fuck this is it… the moment T/they’ve both dreamt of for so long.  She floats along as if in some kind of trance, staring into her laptop, thinking of what is to come next.  To calm her nerves she runs over a to do list in her mind, okay little girl she thinks, you’re good, you can so fucking do this, it’s easy, Right?…  She glances over at the elderly woman sitting next to her, she’s sleeping so peacefully… her snores which once annoyed are becoming barely audible over her thoughts.

She can barely contain her excitement, closing her eyes for a moment she realizes any attempt to sleep is futile, her mind won’t allow it.  Getting closer to Him now, the butterflies that have taken residency in her stomach are now in flight, they scramble about inside her frantically.  She thinks about her family back home, her dog, friends…  friends wow, they think she’s nuts for doing this, she doesn’t care though, her love for Him outweighs all the doubts… all the lies, all of it.  At this moment in time all she really wants is that first hug.  The first touch from the Man she has loved from afar for so very long, this is what she needs.  He is what she needs, His love, His embrace, this is what it will take to calm her once again.  Again she looks at her hands, still trembling, she clasps them tightly in front of her looking around to see if any of the other passengers know her fear.  In the rear of the plane she hears a baby cry for it’s mother, it’s urgent call getting louder and more persistent… good lord  help her get off of this damn plane soon.  She feels like they’ve been flying for days and days… The flight attendant walks by and she thinks of ordering a drink…. nooo she thinks to herself, that just won’t do at all… The pilot comes over the loudspeaker, something about turbulence… she chuckles a little thinking of the irony of a crash, and how pissed off she would be if she never got her hug, okay none of that YOU she thinks. This is happening today, You will make this happen little one… He is waiting for you.  Once again she closes her tired eyes.  soon my Love… soon.