Yawn

3 'o'clock Why can't I sleep? I toss and turn, I sing I read Why can't I stop worrying? Those sheep don't work And the house to quiet I light my candles and silently sit. My feet are frozen My lips are dry I think of you And tears fall from my eyes The dark room holds my fears Like a mother holds her child I crawl back in bed And curl up in a ball I am exhausted But for some reason I can not sleep at ALL!

an idle mind...

“aching”

My heart aches when I don’t talk to Him

My heart aches when I don’t hear from Him

My heart aches when I long for Him

I don’t know why

He’s taken over my thoughts

I can’t explain

He’s almost a stranger

So far away

I want Him close to me now

I miss His embrace

Holding Him close

My heart aches for His love

My heart aches

“lost girl”

I’m the girl who hides behind a smile everyday

Im the girl who has a tough exterior

That’s not who I really am

Im the girl who has a lot of problems

I don’t share any of them

Im the girl who keeps everything bottled up

Sometimes I need someone to talk to

Someone to care about me

Someone to listen to my problems

Someone to hold me when I cry

Someone to love me

nobody knows the real me

nobody knows what I go through everyday

nobody knows what I do just to make it through each day

nobody knows im the girl who will cry herself to sleep every night

What’s a girl to do without demotivational posters??  These things never fail to make me smile...

"invisible"

today i wish i were invisible, to hide from all the heartache and darkness that has recently seemed to consume my world. Why do i have these thoughts? i'm not exactly sure, but i know that they'e been deep inside my phsyche for quite sometime just waiting to surface. It seems that all i do to make the feelings disappear is totally in vain. today i just want to be home. i should be joyfull, today marks thirty days without the substances that may harm myself or my F/family, instead i feel myself wanting to leave this place. i want to run away, to hide for weeks or months from everyone and everything that i hold dear. i ask myself time and time again, what's wrong with you? Why can you not overcome this monster that lies within? Why can't you be strong like before? Before what? Why have you allowed this addiction to take over your mind and body, allowed it to be your wicked new Master, and pushed all those you love and cherish aside? Yes today i want to be invisible, if only that were possible. i'm still here, i'm sorry. i love Y/you all with all that i am, be well and know that soon i will be home and "me" again.

Warning…

*smiles* Well F/friends I hope you find this post funny yet informative.

Urban dictionaries describe a chat whore as any bitch that will almost phone fuck, ass fuck, real time fuck any loser on the web.  These people have no respect for anyone, including themselves.   They just wander around from room to room wreaking havoc on unsupecting chatters everywhere.  These people can be either male or female, Dominant or submissive.  W/we all know them well, their innocent little grins plastered to their faces, whether they be in plain sight  or lurking in the shadows as most prefer, every room has one of the vile creatures. How do you spot one of these disgusting vermin Y/you may ask?    Unfortunatly people they are indistinguishable from any other normal chatter in appearance.  Some may even seem to be friendly and kind, until you see the real person behind the keyboard.

I’d like to sadly inform Y/you that though we have done extensive research, to this day there is no repellant or deterrent for these sick individuals.  Think they aren’t a threat, well F/friend, you would be wrong in this assumption.  These people will smile to your face as they try their best to fuck your husbands, wives, submissives, slaves, Masters, Daddies, baby girls, bfs, gfs,  you love em, they take em!.  I beg of you people, be honest and open to the ones you love, treat them with love and respect.  You do not and I repeat do not want them to fall victim to one of the chatwhores!  DON’T LET THEM GET YOU!!!!

His return…

The girl sits quietly ; she can barely sit still, her mind racing with thoughts of His return.  He’d only been gone since Monday, not quite a week but to her the time without Him seemed like an eternity.  she had been given a list of instructions which she followed carefully.  They were simple really… she was to lay out His favorite flogger and various other items that made her shiver with delight.  she was to be kneeling by the front door, her ass stuffed with the beads He’d given her before He left.  she was to be clothed in nothing but His favorite dress shirt.  she glances up at the clock, 8:47, almost time…  she smiles to herself and types a few words here and there to give her friends the impression that she’s actually paying attention but they know better.  Trembling with anticipation she gazes out the window as she been doing for hours.  she spots a pair of headlights far in the distance and her heart skips a beat, He’s home!  she quickly says her goodnights and makes her way to the front door.  she kneels carefully, her gaze lowered to the floor, sitting on her shaking hands.  A car door slams outside and she hears His footsteps as He approaches.  she shudders violently, fighting the urge to look up at Him as she hears the click of the door shutting behind Him.  she smiles, watching His feet as He kicks His shoes off and moves toward her.  she keeps her eyes lowered as she feels His hand reach out to caress her face.  He gently lifts her chin, forcing her to look up into His piercing  green eyes, “such a good girl, I’ve missed you little one”, He says smiling down at His girl, His fingers entwining themselves in her long dark hair.  For a second she loses herself in His eyes, oh god those eyes that can see deep into her very soul.  she moans softly as He takes her hand, helping her to her feet, and she whispers softly in His ear, so close her lips are almost touching Him, “Master, Your girl missed You so bad”
He winks at her and gathers her up in His arms, holding her tight.  His muscular chest presses closer to her, flattening her swollen breasts and making every nerve in her body tingle.  she blushes and looks toward the floor as His hands explore her body, softly whimpering as she feels the warmth building between her thighs.   she meets His lips, kissing Him hungrily before turning to follow Him upstairs.  she watches carefully as He makes His way over to the bed and gives her a slight nod, motioning for her to come to Him.  she takes a few steps toward Him and He quickly grabs her wrists, a chill runs through her as the cold metal handcuffs click securely into place, leaving her hanging, helpless and fully exposed.  He reaches out to her, His hands slowly moving up and down her trembling figure, stopping briefly on her abdomen, He leans forward and kisses her tummy softly, smiling down at her as He says “hello little one.”  she arches her back and moans with pleasure as His hands move lower, and He slips a finger inside her, teasing her, making her ache for Him.  He smiles wickedly and jumps to His feet, pulling out of her abruptly and moving across the room to unpack.  “patience My reason”, He chuckles softly, watching her.  she wants to protest but knows that rushing Him will only prolong her agony.  she struggles against the handcuffs until the cool metal digs into her wrists, finally giving up.  she hangs quietly, watching His every move, her body trembling.  Oh how she loves this Man, her Protector, her Lover, her Sweet Tormentor.  As the minutes fade into what seems like hours she finally finds her voice and calls out to Him, “Master, Your girl needs You, please take me.”  Tears form in the corner of her eyes as she watches Him, moaning softly.  Finally He moves to claim His property, His skilled hands moving over her skin slowly, touching, teasing, caressing…  His soft lips kissing and nipping at her ears, neck, shoulders, planting kisses all over her as His hands travel lower.  Again His fingers make their way deep inside her and waves of pleasure surge through her body, rocking against Him.  As a single tear runs down her cheek she smiles to herself thinking this must be what heaven feels like.  He stops again and she whimpers softly as He steps back and asks “what do you want ?”, she feels her face redden as she moans in reply, “i only want to please You Master”.
A low growl escapes from deep in His throat as He swiftly moves over her and says the two words she loves to hear more than anything, “good girl”.  His lips are on hers as He pushes her thighs apart quickly.  she screams His name as He enters her.  So full, so good, she moans and whimpers, her back arched, her hips rising to meet His every thrust, burning with desire as He pushes deeper.  she closes her eyes tightly and feels His long fingers wrap around her throat.  “look at Me girl” He growls in her ear, turning her face toward Him.  she moans breathlessly, gazing deeply into His eyes as His love consumes her.  she screams again, fighting hard not to explode, struggling to wait for His command, her body aching, burning with need she begs Him, pleading for release, shaking uncontrollably against Him.  her tears flow down her face like rain as her nails dig deep into His broad shoulders.  Clinging to Him she tries to speak but the words won’t come, finally managing to say “please Master please!”  He raises His arm high in the air and comes down hard on her ass, grinning as she cries out in pain, only wanting Him more…  He asks her again in a firm tone, “what do you want? please what? say it!”  she screams her reply so loud it can be heard by the neighbors a mile away, “YOU MASTER!!”.  Once more His hand comes crashing down on her ass and He pushes her legs high above her head, driving deeper into His girl, “tell me girl, say it!”  she sobs uncontrollably, rocking against Him, fighting to get the words out, stammering “i… i.. please Master please I need it now, I can’t…”  He smacks her ass hard again, leaving a perfect handprint on her right cheek and demands “DO IT NOW !”  she lets out a muffled cry as a sudden wave of darkness envelopes her.

she awakens a few minutes later, opening her eyes slowly, praying that it’s not all just some wonderful dream.  There He is, holding her tightly, a concerned look on His face.  Seeing that she’s okay, His lips curve into a playful grin.  He leans forward and plants a kiss on her forehead.  “Welcome back pretty girl, I lost you for a few minutes, are you alright?”  she nods and bursts into tears, whispering breathlessly, “thank You Master, thank You for loving me.”